An EXTREMELY Unexpected Journey
by SloTurtle
Summary: We all know the story of The Hobbit, but what if some other Hobbit had traveled with Bilbo Baggins from the Shire? This is my theory.
1. Our Childhood

I swung myself over the fence into my father's wood yard. "Hello little Christiana, Do you need something?" He stuck his axe into the stump and looked at me, "I want to help with work." I said, standing on my tiptoes.

Father looked doubtfully, then chuckled, "You may not be able to help me for a small while, But for now...," He smiled and reached under a log and brought his own father's axe. ", You could hold onto this for me. Perhaps I can teach you to use it." Father handed the axe to me, It's head weighing it down quite a bit. " Could you teach me NOW?" I asked excitedly.

My Father hesitated, nodded, And set a block of wood onto the stump. "Rear back, don't let the weight do all the work. Swing as hard as you can, Aim for the middle of the block. And remember, focus, no angry thoughts while holding an axe. Especially now." He pointed out and stepped a ways back.

I nodded and held the axe. Pausing, taking a deep breath and I swung the blade down onto the wood. It split with a 'Crack!'. "Brilliant job! You'll be having the family business if you keep that up," Dad praised me, I couldn't stop the gleeful smile from spreading on my face. ",Now, be careful with that. Go off and play with your friend. He must be very impatient." I turned and ran back to Bag-End.

I found Him sitting in his front yard, talking with my uncle. "What on earth are you doing with your father's axe!?" Torinar said. "Papa gave it to me." I objected. "He should really be careful on what he influences you with. Whatever he teaches you now, makes a difference later." He mumbled. "Well I think it's cool that Christy can wield a weapon now. She is like a hero from Mom's stories." Bilbo Laughed.

"I'll race ya to the tree!" I tagged Biblo's arm and started running. Blibo was older and taller than me, But I was faster. I made it to the tree and started to climb, "Be careful. Do you need me to lift you up?" Bilbo panted as he reached the tree.

"I'm fine." I mumbled. He ignored me and pushed on my feet to boost me up. I looked down and grabbed his hand o help him up too. "Well, what do you see?" He asked, looking around the forest. "I see...," I searched the sky. "A sparrow.".

Bilbo smiled and watched the bird fly by. A small figure streaked across the field, towards them, hollering. "Bilbo! Hurry yourself up! Supper's gettin' cold!". Bilbo sighed and hopped out of the tree. "I'll see you tommorrow, then." I nodded as Bilbo walked away.


	2. A Letter

I swung my axe down on the wood, splitting it straight down the middle. Sweat dripped down my brow, annoying me. I wiped the sweat away and picked up the wood.

I walked into town to my uncle's yard. "Hello Christiana." He mumbled around his pipe. "Hi uncle Torinar. Got your fire wood for ya." I greeted and set the wood by the house. "Thank you, Could you run another errand for me?" Torinar asked. "Sure, what'd ya need?" I sighed.

"Could you deliver this letter to Bilbo? Don't ask me what it is, It is of an important business offer." He handed me a small envelope. I nodded and took the letter.

I knocked on Bilbo's door, a few seconds later, the door opened. "Christiana, What are you doing here?" He asked, a surprised look splayed on his face. "Is it strange for me to want to see an old friend of mine?" I chuckled. Bilbo raised an eyebrow, but smiled and motioned for me to come inside. "Do you want something to drink?" He said as he fumbled around in the kitchen. "No, I'm fine," I walked into the dinning room and sat down. "I have a letter for you from Torinar."

Bilbo opened the envelope and started reading it, pacing the floor as he did so. " He said it was about an important business offer." I continued. "I was wondering what _kind_ of business offer." "It says specifically that I cannot tell you. Sorry." Bilbo sighed, folded up the paper and set it in his pocket. "You can tell your uncle that I accept." He smiled.

I trekked back to my uncle's house and gave him the reply letter that Bilbo had quickly managed to scribble together. My uncle laughed and patted my shoulder. "You can tell Bilbo that we can continue this discussion next week at The Green Dragon.". I sighed and dragged my worn out legs back to Bilbo's house.

He opened the door and I crashed onto the couch. "Are you all right?" Bilbo fretted. "Yeah. Torinar says that the discussion will continue next week, at The Green Dragon." I sat up.

Bilbo walked over to his fireplace and added the last few pieces of wood. I looked at the small flame and stood up. "I'll get some more wood for you." I stated. Bilbo was about to object, but I closed the door behind me before he could say anything.


	3. Dwarf party?

Here I stood, chopping wood...again. The forest sounds calmed me, making sure I was never angry when I used my axe. A twig snapped behind me, I swung around, my axe ready to swing. A gruesome looking dwarf walked up. "D'you know where Bag-end be?" He growled.

Of course I knew, but he didn't know I knew. "Sure... It's over yonder past those corn fields." I pointed at Farmer Maggot's Field. The dwarf nodded and marched off. I grabbed my wood and axe and ran back to Bag-end. I swiftly pushed through the door and set my axe against the wall.

Bilbo looked up from his mail, confused. "What's with you? You're acting as if a horse was chasing you." He pondered. "Nothing. I just wanted to get here before dark." I answered, setting the wood next to the fireplace. "Do want something to drink _now_?" He asked. I nodded and sighed in relief as he brought me a flask of ale.

As I drank the rest of my drink, Bilbo made himself dinner. He came in and sat down with it. He started spreading lemon juice on his fish, then someone knocked on the door. Bilbo said "No, I can get it." before I could move my chair.  
I could hear talking, a dwarf, the same one from earlier, came into the dinning room and started eating.

"Good, this. You've anymore?" He grumbled through his mouthful of food. "Oh, uh. Yeah." Bilbo mumbled, grabbing a bowl of biscuits, snatching one for himself, then giving the bowl to the dwarf.

Someone knocked on the door again. "That'll be the door." He growled at Bilbo. I walked into the hallway with Bilbo. He opened the door to a white-haired dwarf. The dwarf bowed and said "Balin, at yer' service." Bilbo's eyes grew wide as he watched speechlessly. Balin greeted the other dwarf, apparently Dwalin, and banged heads.

Balin and Dwalin started scuffling through the pantry mumbling to each about moldy cheese. Yet another knock at the door, I chose to open it this time, Bilbo stood next to me. Two very handsome dwarfs smiled. "You must be Mr. Boggins." The shorter Dwarf looked at Bilbo. "Baggins." He corrected.

"Fili." "And Kili," The dwarves introduced their selves. "At your service." They finished in union. "No. No. You people have the wrong house. Goodbye." Bilbo rushed, trying to close the door. "Don't tell me it's been canceled." Kili stuck his foot in the door.

"What? No. Nothing's been canceled." He said, confusion taking over him. "Oh, good then." Kili anf Fili walked in and handed Bilbo their weapons. All four dwarves greeted each other and started moving the dinning table. I started to laugh and handing out flasks of beer.

Bilbo started yelling as more knocks came from behind the door. Dwarves started flowing into the kitchen and pantry. "Oi, You're the little lady who gave me the wrong directions!" Dwalin accused me.


	4. The Company of Thorin Oakenshield

"I only did that because I thought you were going to kill Bilbo." I replied. Dwalin looked severely at me for a second then laughed. I refilled my mug as the dwarfs joined in merry conversations. Kili walked up to me and smiled. "So, is your name as pretty as your face?" He asked. I couldn't stop from blushing. "Uh..."- Kili kissed me on the lips.

My eyes widened as I started to freak out. Everyone around started bursting with laughter, even Gandalf. "Tis' how we greet women that we don't know. Be happy that only the first one who gets to ya gets to greet ya." Balin chuckled.

I laughed a little as I realized what he meant. Gandalf sat down as everyone started to speak about a company or some other. A loud knock echoed through the halls, and everyone looked up. "He is here." Gandalf mumbled.

We all crowded around as Gandalf opened the door. A very ragged dwarf stepped in, glaring at everyone. "I thought you said this place was easy to find. I lost my way, twice." He grumbled to the old wizard.

He sat down and ate. Gandalf rolled out a map and pointed at a mountain terrain. "The entrance is sealed, there is no way to get into Erebor." The dwarf said. Gandalf pulled out a key. "Thorin, you have little faith." "Where did you get this?" Thorin asked, taking the key. "Your father gave it to me, for safe keeping." Gandalf replied.

"Erebor? What's Erebor?" I wondered, Grabbing Throin's flask and refilling it. "It is no concern of maids." He grumbled. Bilbo looked at Thorin in worry, and immediately stepped between me and my axe. "Well, EXSCUUUUUSE me! But, I'm not a maid. Or a wench, nor am I a waitress. So I believe you treat me with respect." I retorted. "And why is that?" He said calmly. "Because I'm the one who is refilling your flask." I stated.

The dwarfs all looked at each other, surprised. Thorin smiled. "I suppose you're right then, lassie." He admitted and looked back at the map. The conversation of a dragon continued. I could only hear a little bit because Gandalf recommended I stay in the living room.

"Are you okay Bilbo?" Gandalf asked. I looked up to see Bilbo leaned over, taking deep breaths. He stood straight and adjusted his shoulders. "...Nope." He fainted.

The company took rest in the living room, which I had to evacuate, and stared sadly at the dying fire. I stood up from my chair and walked over to the wood pile. I moved my axe off of it and grabbed some wood. "So, Bilbo DOES know how to use a weapon." Bombur pondered.

I fed the wood into the fire and straightened up. "No. I do would never touch my axe." I sighed. Most of the dwarfs' eyes switched to me, like an infant trying to work out a puzzle. "Did you chop this wood?" requested Balin. I nodded and went back into the dinning room.


	5. The Adventure Begins

I woke up on the table. The company was packing up and heading out the door, noisily might I add. I snuck in with the group, snatching my axe on the way out. When they got near my uncle's house, I ran inside to collect my things.

I stuffed my bag with a few apples, my cloak, bread, a compass, and a map. Torinar was opening the door to go on his morning stroll. I pushed past him and ran across the road, following Bilbo's trail of confusion. "Where are you going?" Palidan Took hollered, dropping his toy ball. "I'm going with your cousin on an adventure!" I yelled without turning back.

The dwarfs and Bilbo were now traveling by pony, easier for me to track, harder to catch up to. They stopped and took shelter under an overhang. My stomach growled as I smelled the food they were cooking, I searched my bag for some bread. I brought out a piece of bread and an apple. The apple slipped out of my hand, I grabbed at it frantically, but to no prevail.

It rolled out and bumped into Bilbo's leg. He looked down at it and up at his pony. Bilbo grabbed the apple and snuck over to the pony. 'HE FED MY APPLE TO A HORSE!?' I thought angrily.

I climbed into a tree and fell asleep, I had a long day ahead of me.

The sun shone brightly in my face, I rolled over, half expecting another side of a bed to be there. I fell onto the ground with a thud. I groaned and put my hand on my face.

My back hurt, The dwarfs might have already left, I fell out of a tree, And worst of all, Bilbo stole my apple! I know I shouldn't be complaining, but I think Bilbo is having a better time than I am.

I brushed myself off, gathered my stuff and set off in the dwarfs' direction. Gandalf marched off in another direction, annoyed. I sat near a bush, waiting for Gandalf to get back. He didn't come back.

One of the dwarfs gave Bilbo two bowls "Bring these to the boys. They're watching the horses." He pointed at a group of trees. I walked a ways behind Bilbo, keeping my distance so he wouldn't see me.

A little bit off the path, there were some large foot prints and a few splintered trees. I decided to start following this trail instead.

When I came upon the fresher tracks, a foul stench spread through the air. I heard horses in the distance, I slipped behind a tree as a troll crashed by. He sat with two other trolls. "Mutton yesterday, Mutton the day before, and to 'ell if ain't taste like mutton tonight!" one of them complained.

"These ain't no lousy sheep. These are prime horses." the troll with the spoon retorted.


	6. Troll-lol-lo-lo-lol

The trolls started chasing and snatching at Bilbo. Kili ran into the clearing sword at hand. "Drop him." He said. "You what?" The troll asked. "Drop him." Kili threatened again.

All the dwarfs rushed into the fight, slashing and stabbing. I was about to run in too, but the trolls stopped the scuffle by almost tearing Bilbo in half.

They tied up the dwarves and started cooking them. I grabbed my axe and snuck behind the trolls. I swung it down on one of their feet. They howled out in pain and cursed. The larger troll swung his wooden spoon at me, I ducked and hacked at more feet.

"Christiana!?" Bilbo partly scolded, partly welcomed me. "Can't talk now. Smashing toes." I grunted as a troll's finger grazed my arm, almost grabbing me.

"Well, if you'd cut the ropes, we'd be able to help." Snapped Dwalin. I looked up at the rising sun, a shadow moved behind the rocks that were shielding us from it's rays. A troll, the one with the crossed eyes, picks me up by my legs. "Looky ere' Bert. We've another Furglburgler 'Obbit." He sniffled, blowing his nose in a rag.

"You put me down, now!" I screamed, strainging to get my axe, that was on the ground. "Oh really? You can't do nuffin'." The troll, Called Bert, laughed. "I'll cast a curse on you!" I threatened, waving my arms around. The troll holding me dropped me. "You what?" The meaner looking troll asked, picking me up.

"That's right! I am a gypsy! And if you don't release my friends, then I'll be forced to drastic measures." I stammered. "Yeah. Be careful! Back home, she has cast several curses on the townsfolk." Bilbo agreed, going along with the story. "You're tryin' to trick us." The troll shook me vigorously to shut me up.

"May the light consume you!" A voice boomed. The boulders split apart, showing Gandalf. The trolls screeched in agony, their skin turning to stone. The troll that was holding me now, was griping me tighter. I gasped in pain, as my breath was crushed out of my lungs.

"Hurry! Help her!" Bilbo pleaded. Gandalf quickly pried me free of the troll's hand right before he turned completely into stone.

I lay on the ground, gasping for air. The dwarfs getting out of their sacs. Gandalf knelt beside me, helping me sit up. "Are you alright, young lady?" He asked concernedly. "Yeah. I'm fine." I grunted.

Once everyone had gotten together, they crowded around me. "What were you thinking?" one of the dwarfs asked. "Following us on this quest is suicide!" Balin grunted. "You, are going straight back to The Shire." Bilbo ordered.

"Hey!" Kili hollered over all the commotion. "She fought the trolls, didn't she?" He asked. Kili walked over to me and gave me my axe. "Thanks." I mumbled.

The company started to follow Gandalf, to find the troll hole. Thorin fell back next to me. "You will only be able to join us if you can fight. And I am not responsible for you, or what happens to you." He warned. "I know, and I can fight." I nodded and held up my axe.

A glint of amusement gleamed in his eyes, he walked back up to the front of the group and accompanied Gandalf into the foul smelling tunnel.


	7. Booty! (The treasure kind)

We filed out of the stench filled cave. Fili reached down from the rock above me. I rolled my eyes and climbed out myself. Fili shrugged and walked on.

I rounded bout a tree and fumbled over someone. Thorin blinked and sat up. "Well, I knew that I was trying to find you quickly, but you really have timing." He grunted and pulled me off the ground.

"Why were you looking for me? Wanted to lecture me on how Bilbo and I don't belong?" I joked. His face turned stone serious, he lifted a silver axe, it's head embedded with a small amethyst.

"It was in the cave, and it looked a bit too girly for Fili. Not sure about Kili though, May have to fight him for it." Thorin nodded to the axe. "I think I can manage." I chuckled as he walked away.

I glanced around to make sure no one was watching. I lifted the axe, testing it's weight. It was heavier than my father's axe, but it looked like it would deal more damage.

The wind rustled the leaves as I swung down the weapon. A loud 'CRACK!' signified that a few more swings and the tree in front of me would be no more.

The axe came loose easily, leaving a large wound in the wooden stem of the oak. I started to stroll back, when an idea popped into my mind. It was a stupid idea, yes, but it was an effective idea. I tensed my right arm, my strong arm, and swung around in a quick circle, releasing the axe.

It didn't hit completely accurate, but it hit the right tree. I smiled and walked back to camp, my new throwing axe at hand.

* * *

A/n: I'm sorry for the short chapter, it's all I could think of for now. Toodles, my Turtles X3.


	8. A Trek Upon Slippery Slopes

We ran quickly from boulder to boulder, making sure Radagast had the orcs behind him. We scurried backwards, the pack of warg-riders rode past us.

I looked up, a pebble had fallen on my shoulder. An orc was atop the boulder. The dwarfs saw it too, and motioned Kili to shoot it.

The warg fell to the ground and the orc readied his horn, but several dwarf weapons clamored into his head. I held my finger in front of my lips, telling them to quit it down.

A warg yowled in the distance and we ran like the wind. Gandalf split off from the group as we started fighting wargs that got too close to the company.

Gandalf yelled at us to slide into a cave near the foot of a big rock. We all huddled together in the back of the cave. Large amounts of noise echoed into the cave, an orc body rolled into it, there was an arrow sticking out of his back.

"Elves." Dwalin growled. "Hey this path leads somewhere!" Dori exclaimed. I fell back behind Bilbo as we all filed further into the creviced stone.

We stopped in an opening to rehydrate and rest. I glanced over at Bilbo, who was looking intently at a piece of parchment. "What's that?" I asked. Bilbo jumped, and fumbled around with the paper, trying to fold it neatly.

"Uh, no. It's nothing, really. Just some old scribbles." He stammered. I rolled my eyes and sat down, smiling. My head turned upward, as I searched the sky. "What do you see?" I sighed.

Bilbo looked at the blue sky, then at me. "Home." Bilbo murmured.

"Com'on we've got to get a move along." Thorin barked grumpily, as usual.

* * *

I held my hand out in front of my face as the sun's blinding rays shone in my eyes. Mist collected around a number of us, soaking our clothes and drenching our hair.

Thorin and Gandalf exchanged a few unhappy words and continued to the marvelous city ahead of us.

"Woah." I gasped in awe. "Keep your mouth closed, you'll catch flies." Kili patted my shoulder as he moved forward.

I set my foot down in a confident step, hoping to soon get closer to the town of Rivendell. I gasped and my breath was knocked out of me, as my foot slid off the edge of the cliff.

My arms flailed, catching and swatting at thin air, but just as quickly as it had happened, it had ended.

A rough hand clasped my wrist tightly. I glanced up and saw Fili carefully heaving my arm back close enough so that he could reach with his other hand as well.

I grasped tightly to Fili, not looking down. "You should be more careful of where you step, and you can let go now, Chris." He chuckled, moving me away from the overhang.


	9. Escape from Rivendell

The table cracked under the huge mass of dwarf and food on it. Everyone laughed, Thorin, Balin, and Bilbo walked in. Each of them had serious expressions. "What'd they say?" asked Fili, hoping his uncle did not give too much away.

"They told us what the map reads, we will be on our way soon enough." Thorin grunted, sitting down to eat. Bilbo sat in a small, dark, and quiet corner where he could stare at his paper in peace.

What is it that makes that paper so familiar?

Kili sat next to me and sighed. "He misses home, doesn't he?", I nodded. Home... That's where the paper is from. It is the same kind that my uncle has me buy from the market in Bree.

Bilbo must have gotten a complicated letter, because he seemed to be reading this one over and over, smiling each time.

* * *

We left at dawn, keeping silent, making sure not to alarm the elves of our departure.

Thorin told us that we'd be heading up the mountains to wait for Gandalf.

A/n: Sorry, short chapter. But I want all of the Thunder Battle to be in the next one soooooo yep.


	10. Rock Giants, In Their Natural Habitat

Wind battered the company as we climbed the mountain slope.

Stones, along with raindrops, began to fall upon us. "What's happening?!" Kili yelled. I looked up, the mountain across the gorge had risen and had begun to throw boulders at us.

Our mountain split apart, and took part in battle. The group was separated, some on each leg. I clung to Kili and Bilbo for dear life, preparing for impact from the stone awaiting us.

The rock lifted up and we regrouped. "Where's Bilbo?" Fili asked. I looked around, Bilbo was clinging to the side of the cliff. Thorin swung himself down and hoisted Bilbo up. Then we pulled him up.

* * *

"We'll set camp here for the night." Thorin grumbled, tossing his stuff to the side. "But, Gandalf said for us to wait for him." Bifur objected. "Well, it seems that our wizard had other plans. Bifur, you're on first watch.

We settled in, drying our hats and cloaks. Bilbo came over and sat next to me. "I should never had come here." He sighed. "If you hadn't, I wouldn't have come here, then we wouldn't of had this amazing adventure." I grunted, popping my neck.

Bilbo took out his envelope and held it out. "Read it." He said. I looked cautiously at the note then at Bilbo. "Oh, just read it if you want!" He insisted, knowing how curious I had been.

"No." I pushed the envelope away. "There is something very important in it. And I need you to understand why this is the reason we're going home." He pried.


End file.
